Los mejores chistes de ESA - Memo interno, IMPROPER LANGUAGE USE
ESA - Memo interno, IMPROPER LANGUAGE USE
October 19th, 2001
TO: ALL SPANISH STAFF
SUBJECT: IMPROPER LANGUAGE USE
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
establishments that offensive language is commonly used by our Spanish staff.
Such behavior, in addition to violating ESA' policy, is highly unprofessional
and offensive to visitors. The staff will immediately adhere to the following rules:
1. Words like "coño" and "carajo", and expressions such as "¡qué cojones!" and
"la madre que lo parió" will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the
2. You will not say "la cagó" when someone makes a mistake, or "la está cagando"
if you see somebody being reprimanded, or "¡qué cagada!" when a major mistake
has been made. All forms and derivatives of the verb "cagar" are inappropiate in
our environment. The same rule applies to "comerse un marrón" and its derivatives.
3. No project manager, section head, or administrator, under any circumstances,
will be referred to as "el hijo de la gran puta", "el muy cabrón", "el come
mierda", or "el mariconazo de turno".
4. Lack of determination will not be referred as "falta de huevos" or
"mariconería" nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as "capullo"
5. Unusual or creative ideas will not be referred to as "pajas mentales" or
"gilipolleces del listillo de siempre".
6. Employees who show a good disposition towards the requests of their superiors
should not be referred to as "lameculos", "narices marrones", or any similar
7. Do not say "¡cómo jode!" if a person is persistent or "está jodido" if a
colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say
"¡qué jodienda!" when matters become complicated.
8. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "vete al carajo" nor
should you ever substitute "may I help you?" with "¿qué coño quieres?". When
things get though, an acceptable expression such as "we are going through a
difficult time" should be used, rather than "esto está jodido". Additionally, if
you make a mistake, just say so and do not say "la cagué". Regarding this last
expression, see also rule 2 above.
9. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as "subida de mierda".
10. Under no circumstances should you call our elderly industrial partners "los
11. Last but not least, do not print this note and say "me voy a limpiar el culo
con ella". Keep all printed versions clean and dispose of them properly.